guess not!!

ok people, i am now 38 weeks and 3 days, and officially an unhappy camper. if i had thought even for one minute of all this that i would have to go full term, it might make this bearable. but since i have had one problem after another the whole time, i was sure early delivery was inevitable. i was even prepared for the nicu. well, that didn't happen. with every week, and now every day that goes by, i am more and more convinced that this baby has decided to take up permanent residency in my belly. it is very hard not getting super depressed, and i try really hard not to spend my days moping and whining. that is, until i get into bed, and can cry on nathan's shoulder. i seem to be doing that a lot these days. yesterday i had an ultrasound in the morning, and we learned that miss rachel has turned her head to be looking into my right side, instead of my back, where she is supposed to be. i didn't think much of it, just that it hurts my back more. well, when i had my doc appt, and they checked me, i had actually undilated!!! i didn't even know that was possible. when i was checked last week, i was told i was a tight 3, but a 3 nonetheless. here i was being told that i was between a 1-2, 2 being very generous. i almost died. i begged and pleaded for something to happen, that he would break my water, give me a pit drip, anything!! he refused, and said they're policy is not to induce before 39 weeks, and that is only because of the 2 vessel cord thing i have. otherwise, they wait till 41!!! so, needless to say, i am not a happy camper. he did strip the membranes again (how many times can you do that??) and i was contracting harder yesterday for a few hours, but, like always, it subsided. i am about at my wits end!! not sure how much longer i will be sane here!! i'll keep ya posted if anything EVER happens!!