random musings number 2

as you all know, that are acquainted with me at all, i am in pain a lot. i have irritable bowel, go to the chiro all the time, get a massage as often as i can afford, have headaches, dizziness, extreme fatigue at random intervals, and a few other things. well, as you also know, facebook is a good place to whine about all these things. i did so, and have for a long time. i have a friend, the mother of my kids friends, that has read these things. she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few months ago. upon further investigation, she added things up and told me about all of the things she had learned. then she gave me the shock of my life. she thinks i have it too.

now, if you are like i was, i had only heard of it as a catch all for random pains and unexplained symptoms. i was very unconvinced because i didn't fit the mental picture of that sickly of a person.

i was given a book by this friend that has totally changed my life. i have read the book from cover to cover, and have found myself described on its pages. i didn't realize that all of my wacky symptoms could possibly be related to each other. nathan even agrees with me after just the few things i told him to read. i actually have watched mystery diagnosis for several years, hoping that i would find something that fit with all of the things that bothered me. i never did, and had long since given up hope. i was improving with the dizziness for a few months, but the last 2 months, it has come back. i am just now coming to functionality after a full three days in bed. this book, and it's information has given me hope again for the first time in years. it has brought things to memory that i had forgotten from my childhood, and the way i used to feel. i have a diagnosis, pending all the labs that i had done showing up normal. they always have in the past, so i am not worried about this time being any different. and the better part, not just a diagnosis, but a treatment!! according to this book, guaifinisen, or however you spell it, is the treatment. it reverses all of the storage of the phosphates, which causes the symptoms. so, i am pretty nervous about the whole reversal process, going through all of the misery again. but hopefully, this time, it will be for a purpose, and then, they will be gone forever!!

random musings

i'm sure i have pictures around here somewhere, but with no good camera, they are on my phone. it is very frustrating to get them off of there, but once i finally do, i will post them! i guess i have a lot to catch up on, and will try to do it quickly!

first, my sisters and i got to be in the choir for michael mcclean's forgotten carols, for the 3rd year. i love it, and it is the highlight of the season for me and nathan. then i had a few weeks off of singing, and am now back in the swing of things.

i got a part time job, helping my sister in law's mother, who had a stroke a few months ago. i check her blood sugar, give her a shot and meds, and make her lunch. now, i pick her up from rehab as well. it is a good fit for us right now, since i can bring rachel too.

a few weeks ago, nathan came to me and suggested we go to the temple once a week. in the last year, i think we had been twice, so this would definitely be a change!! but we worked it out with his relief driver to cover for him, and i arranged a babysitter for rachel. we have gone the last 3 weeks, and it has been such a blessing!! the first week was good, nothing special happened. the 2nd, i started getting dizzy that morning, but was not going to have anything stand in my way. i toughed it out, then went home to bed the rest of the day. i was better by the next night, which was earlier than in years past, so i am grateful. then this last week, i woke up knowing that we would be the witness couple in the session that day. don't ask me how, or why, but i did. when i went to drop rachel off, my friend wasn't there! i called everyone in my old ward i could think of, but noone was available. when i was ready to give up, my friend walked up, from taking some of the kids she watches to the bus stop. i got there a few minutes later than planned, and we didn't make it to the session. we were the first ones waiting for the next session, and a few minutes later, while reading the book of mormon, the officiator came and asked us to be the witness couple. i wasn't surprised, and said yes. now, nothing super exciting happened in the session, and i don't know why i was told we would do that job. i kinda think it was to show me that i am in tune enough to the spirit to hear a prompting. who knows. but it was meaningful to me, and helped strengthen my testimony, so i guess it was a good thing!!

on a different subject, i am taking online classes again. 4 this semester, but only 2 for each 8 weeks. so they don't overlap, and hopefully i will be able to handle them!! wish me luck!

family pics and concert

we had our family pictures taken this weekend. they turned out quite well! i was happy!! here are the kiddos
here is me and the boys
dad and the girls
silly and gorgeous girls
our awesome family pic that i enlarged and put on the wall in the living room
our concert was friday and saturday. we got a standing ovation half way through, when the full choir sang together, from the 4 year olds, up to the adults. we don't fit on stage, so the adults were all the way around the hall. it was awesome!! here is tat and i waiting to go on.
gorgeous rebekah, all dolled up and ready to perform.
me and bekah. my good friend rebecca (whose husband is caleb, go figure!!) did our hair, and my makeup. she has been such a blessing!! and her sweet baby doesn't hurt either!!
i'm never happy with pics of myself, but here i am, in all my stage makeup!
i finished my classes yesterday, with a final and a web post. hallelujah!! i've never been so happy to end a semester! now just ten more credits to go.
we put up our christmas tree, and found that half the lights had burned out. same with the outside ones. what is it with lights this year?? so after a quick run to the store, it is looking festive in here. i love christmastime!! nathan doesn't though, it means extra hours away from home, and driving more monotonous routes. we gave ourselves early christmas/anniversary presents, and upgraded our phones to the new iphone 4. we are very excited, and are still figuring them out!!

frustration

man, this has been an uber frustrating time in my life. i have gotten a huge blessing, and had the dizzy spells associated with my headaches subside. it's been over 2 months now, which is AWESOME!! now, if i could just kick the headaches altogether. i had been doing good for a long time, then last saturday, i got hit with one, and it has just come and gone day and night all week. blah. i woke up with it today, worse than ever. i got a blessing from my awesome hubby and father in law, and was able to rest finally, this morning. i've just been frustrated with the whole, not going away, factor. blah.

i am in online classes, and am doing pretty well. i got my geology grade back up, and am happy with it, and my religions class. but this communications class, that is the accelerated, 8 week course. blah. it is kicking my butt. and not because i am having a hard time with the work. i'm not. it is because my teacher lacks the ability to communicate, then penalizes for it. she gives us super detailed instructions, but not very clear. then, when we ask her to clarify, she says it is all in the info we already have!! aaaaaahhh!!! obviously not, or we wouldn't be asking!! i have been working on a group project with 5 other people. everything has been fine, and we turned in our first portion. we got it back, with a zero, because the heading wasn't right. seriously?!?!? i understand the importance of following her directions, but seriously? i am getting a bad grade because a guy in our group forgot to cc everyone's addresses into the top? does that seem asinine to anyone else?? sorry, i needed to vent, i guess. thankfully, we will be done in 2 weeks. then, blessed winter break!!

our concerts are this weekend, and i am super excited. we sound better with every week that goes by, and i thought we were awesome last year. we have grown in ranks, by leaps and bounds. we were almost to 200 last year, and this year we are pushing 250, and most of that is guys!! hallelujah!! rebekah's group has grown tremendously as well, and i love sharing this with her! it is amazing to be part of such an inspiring, amazing organization. i love it!!

well, we survived the black friday shopping madness, and i finished all of our christmas shopping. i love that. and i didn't break the bank, though the kids won't be getting as much as they are used to. i think it is good for them, right? :)

busy bee

ok, so i thought that taking online classes would be a fun, albeit challenging, undertaking. i have had the hardest time this semester!! i feel so scatterbrained and unable to figure out and follow deadlines, and the simplest directions look like a foreign language!! at the beginning of the semester, i was hit with a whopping dizzy episode, but since then, i haven't had one. so that is a huge blessing. i am in world religions, which is actually very enjoyable and i am learning a lot. i had to read a very thought provoking book and go talk to my professor about it. (these are online classes, and i hadn't been to campus in a long time! eek!!) i am also taking geology of arizona. now, i thought this was going to be my easy ride class. rocks, what's so hard about that??? ha. a lot!! we don't have a book, so i thought it would be a cake walk. boy was i wrong!! we have a powerpoint with 20-50 slides each week we have to go over, an activity involving 5 or 6 puzzles with questions about the material, a supplemental reading and a quiz for each week. i pretty much had this part under control, but was not doing super well. the part that threw me, was the special activities due every 3 weeks for the first part of the semester. i had the dates wrong in my head, and like i said, can't seem to look at a planner. i missed the first 2 completely!! by the time i realized my mistakes, i had a 43 in the class!! i emailed my professor asking if i should bother continuing with the class or just drop it. he advised me to do better, and not miss any more assignments, and i would be fine with a b or c. that isn't failing, so i agreed. it has been much better since i got my head on straight. now, those 2 classes were for the whole semester, but i thought it would be fun to test my sanity and throw in small group communications for the second 8 weeks. oh my. it has required so much more work and time than i even thought i had!! i am spending an average of 4-6 hours a DAY on the laptop for these classes. i am so behind in my housework it is not even funny. rachel is enjoying all of the tv and computer time, but the older kids are starting to get annoyed when i have done NOTHING but homework all day. sheesh. add in the kids activities, choir, and being ward choir director, and you have a busy bee for a mommy!!

my baby got baptized

of course, i always post pictures in backwards order. but here is the whole family after rebekah's baptism.
rebekah with her baptism blanket made my grandma gresko

bekah and her daddy
rebekah with mom and dad
rebekah the sweet

so i was unprepared for the experiences we had yesterday. i was expecting a little bit of a hectic day, hard to feel the spirit of what was happening in my baby girl's life. it was so much more than that. we wanted to perform the ordinance when everyone could be there, so we went for in between conference sessions on saturday afternoon. conference ended at 11, and it was an hour to fill the baptismal font. we decided noon would be a good time to hold it. our bishop was scheduled to be on duty, where he is the fire chief in a nearby town. the other counselors were up at conference in salt lake, and working. it was a hard day to get ahold of the necessary people we needed for keys and such. it all came together though, and everything was set. the family were all there on time, and we began. we had talks and songs, and the baptism and confirmation were great. my sister was asked to give the closing prayer, and she said what we were thinking and feeling, but couldn't express. she said that we all feel the presence of our deceased grandmother, and know she is proud of rebekah. after some more sweet things were said, and with tears rolling down my face, because of the confirmation that sandy was indeed there, i hugged my sister, who was crying as well. she said, i don't know what happened, i was supposed to tell you that. then, grandpa gresko gave rebekah the blanket that sandy had made and wrapped a year ago for her. i was unprepared for the card attached to it. she had written a personal note to rebekah, which was so perfect and eloquent. rebekah squealed and wrapped herself up in it. it is beautiful and perfect. then, when we came home, and i was looking at the card again, i noticed that it opened up, and the inside was written in as well. it was filled with more of sandy, and we treasured it. what a day!!!

rebekah

i can't decide which picture to put on the table at rebekah's baptism on saturday. the 3rd, or 4th? she is so stinking cute, either one is awesome. what do you think? the dress was given to us by a friend who's daughter was 10, so score! it's like a wedding dress, with beading and buttons down the back. couldn't have been more perfect if i had designed it!!
she will be getting baptized at noon, between conference sessions. we will make it all work!! :) a year from the funeral of her grandma. i think it is fitting.