frustration

man, this has been an uber frustrating time in my life. i have gotten a huge blessing, and had the dizzy spells associated with my headaches subside. it's been over 2 months now, which is AWESOME!! now, if i could just kick the headaches altogether. i had been doing good for a long time, then last saturday, i got hit with one, and it has just come and gone day and night all week. blah. i woke up with it today, worse than ever. i got a blessing from my awesome hubby and father in law, and was able to rest finally, this morning. i've just been frustrated with the whole, not going away, factor. blah.

i am in online classes, and am doing pretty well. i got my geology grade back up, and am happy with it, and my religions class. but this communications class, that is the accelerated, 8 week course. blah. it is kicking my butt. and not because i am having a hard time with the work. i'm not. it is because my teacher lacks the ability to communicate, then penalizes for it. she gives us super detailed instructions, but not very clear. then, when we ask her to clarify, she says it is all in the info we already have!! aaaaaahhh!!! obviously not, or we wouldn't be asking!! i have been working on a group project with 5 other people. everything has been fine, and we turned in our first portion. we got it back, with a zero, because the heading wasn't right. seriously?!?!? i understand the importance of following her directions, but seriously? i am getting a bad grade because a guy in our group forgot to cc everyone's addresses into the top? does that seem asinine to anyone else?? sorry, i needed to vent, i guess. thankfully, we will be done in 2 weeks. then, blessed winter break!!

our concerts are this weekend, and i am super excited. we sound better with every week that goes by, and i thought we were awesome last year. we have grown in ranks, by leaps and bounds. we were almost to 200 last year, and this year we are pushing 250, and most of that is guys!! hallelujah!! rebekah's group has grown tremendously as well, and i love sharing this with her! it is amazing to be part of such an inspiring, amazing organization. i love it!!

well, we survived the black friday shopping madness, and i finished all of our christmas shopping. i love that. and i didn't break the bank, though the kids won't be getting as much as they are used to. i think it is good for them, right? :)

busy bee

ok, so i thought that taking online classes would be a fun, albeit challenging, undertaking. i have had the hardest time this semester!! i feel so scatterbrained and unable to figure out and follow deadlines, and the simplest directions look like a foreign language!! at the beginning of the semester, i was hit with a whopping dizzy episode, but since then, i haven't had one. so that is a huge blessing. i am in world religions, which is actually very enjoyable and i am learning a lot. i had to read a very thought provoking book and go talk to my professor about it. (these are online classes, and i hadn't been to campus in a long time! eek!!) i am also taking geology of arizona. now, i thought this was going to be my easy ride class. rocks, what's so hard about that??? ha. a lot!! we don't have a book, so i thought it would be a cake walk. boy was i wrong!! we have a powerpoint with 20-50 slides each week we have to go over, an activity involving 5 or 6 puzzles with questions about the material, a supplemental reading and a quiz for each week. i pretty much had this part under control, but was not doing super well. the part that threw me, was the special activities due every 3 weeks for the first part of the semester. i had the dates wrong in my head, and like i said, can't seem to look at a planner. i missed the first 2 completely!! by the time i realized my mistakes, i had a 43 in the class!! i emailed my professor asking if i should bother continuing with the class or just drop it. he advised me to do better, and not miss any more assignments, and i would be fine with a b or c. that isn't failing, so i agreed. it has been much better since i got my head on straight. now, those 2 classes were for the whole semester, but i thought it would be fun to test my sanity and throw in small group communications for the second 8 weeks. oh my. it has required so much more work and time than i even thought i had!! i am spending an average of 4-6 hours a DAY on the laptop for these classes. i am so behind in my housework it is not even funny. rachel is enjoying all of the tv and computer time, but the older kids are starting to get annoyed when i have done NOTHING but homework all day. sheesh. add in the kids activities, choir, and being ward choir director, and you have a busy bee for a mommy!!

my baby got baptized

of course, i always post pictures in backwards order. but here is the whole family after rebekah's baptism.
rebekah with her baptism blanket made my grandma gresko

bekah and her daddy
rebekah with mom and dad
rebekah the sweet

so i was unprepared for the experiences we had yesterday. i was expecting a little bit of a hectic day, hard to feel the spirit of what was happening in my baby girl's life. it was so much more than that. we wanted to perform the ordinance when everyone could be there, so we went for in between conference sessions on saturday afternoon. conference ended at 11, and it was an hour to fill the baptismal font. we decided noon would be a good time to hold it. our bishop was scheduled to be on duty, where he is the fire chief in a nearby town. the other counselors were up at conference in salt lake, and working. it was a hard day to get ahold of the necessary people we needed for keys and such. it all came together though, and everything was set. the family were all there on time, and we began. we had talks and songs, and the baptism and confirmation were great. my sister was asked to give the closing prayer, and she said what we were thinking and feeling, but couldn't express. she said that we all feel the presence of our deceased grandmother, and know she is proud of rebekah. after some more sweet things were said, and with tears rolling down my face, because of the confirmation that sandy was indeed there, i hugged my sister, who was crying as well. she said, i don't know what happened, i was supposed to tell you that. then, grandpa gresko gave rebekah the blanket that sandy had made and wrapped a year ago for her. i was unprepared for the card attached to it. she had written a personal note to rebekah, which was so perfect and eloquent. rebekah squealed and wrapped herself up in it. it is beautiful and perfect. then, when we came home, and i was looking at the card again, i noticed that it opened up, and the inside was written in as well. it was filled with more of sandy, and we treasured it. what a day!!!

rebekah

i can't decide which picture to put on the table at rebekah's baptism on saturday. the 3rd, or 4th? she is so stinking cute, either one is awesome. what do you think? the dress was given to us by a friend who's daughter was 10, so score! it's like a wedding dress, with beading and buttons down the back. couldn't have been more perfect if i had designed it!!
she will be getting baptized at noon, between conference sessions. we will make it all work!! :) a year from the funeral of her grandma. i think it is fitting.

preschool and humble pie

rachel standing outside of her preschool class. what a big girl!!

putting on her shoes before class. like the cuts on her lip? she totally face planted and had a huge fat lip for school. i thought that was pretty fitting for her!!
yes, this is what the kids do with the hose!!!
rachel and i made muddy buddies a few days ago. she thought she needed to lick the lid after i shook it. it got powdered sugar all over her nose and dress. it was too cute, i had to snap a pic!!
and on a more somber note, on monday, my good friend and cousin saved her daughter's life by not letting an ex boyfriend in the house. for her efforts, she got shot in the head and killed. i was reminded just how precious life is, and wanted to take a minute to express my gratitude. i am thankful for my family and friends. for my kids and hubby. for the knowledge that i have, that this is not the end of our existence. my cousin lives on, and will continue to do so. i am thankful for the health i have, though i complain about it a lot. what i go through is so small in comparison to so many others, who suffer with no complaint. i have been very humbled over the last week, and just want everyone out there in cyberspace to know that.

end of summer

i didn't get the job, but i am still looking. it was weird, because of the way it happened, i thought it was a sure thing. i was strangely relieved and disappointed at the same time. the kids started school again on wednesday, and i am good with it. i enjoy having my time with just rachel, and i enjoy knowing they are learning and having fun at the same time. caleb has rebekah's student teacher from last year, rebekah has colby's teacher from last year, and colby has the only 4th grade teacher. they all knew who their teacher would be, and were excited to get to know them. they have gotten back into the swing of homework and chores, and of course, playing like mad when they finish. oh to be a kid again!! i am busy cleaning and trying to put the rooms back together after the crazy summer we had. we have gone to the lake twice, and i pulled the ligaments in my knee attempting to waterski. it still hurts, and i was told to get into better shape before i tried it again. ha! i agree!! so now i am just doing all the day to day stuff, waiting for school to start on the 20th. rachel starts preschool next week, and she is more than ready. she wears her backpack and tries to do homework with the kids. she is hilarious!! we love our kiddos, and our family more every day!!

working mom

i know, it is totally boring without the pictures, but bear with me for a while until i can replace the camera!! this week has been very interesting, to say the least. we have known for a while that nathan's job is going to be cutting pay. (pay, not hours, explain that to me!!) he will now be backtracking 4 times a day, instead of 2. he really hates this job, but it pays the bills, so sshhh!
anyway, i applied to about 30 jobs 2 weeks ago, and hadn't heard much from anyone. a few days ago, i noticed one of my friends posting on facebook about how she had a friend that was trying to find kids to watch, so she didn't have to go back to work. then, out of the blue, yesterday i got a call from a woman i knew a few years ago in a previous ward. she said she noticed my resume on jobing, and wondered if i was still looking for a job. the position she had was for a 7 hr day, still part time. it paid better than anything i was looking at, and she had confidence in me. i set up the interview for this morning, and sent my friend a message about how to get the info on the woman for the child care. i pretty much freaked out after that. i am pretty overwhelmed just doing what i am doing, and now i am considering going to work!! after the kids went to bed, i read my scriptures for the first time in a while. twice, i read a verse about putting your trust in God, and finding peace. so, i took that to heart, and was at peace for the night. i got up this morning, and after getting beautified (trust me, it's rare on a weekday!!), i checked my messages. the friend who was doing the childcare, was actually a friend of mine too! she lives next door to the lady who runs the preschool rachel will attend. it really seems perfect, as that was one of my worries. i didn't think we could get her there. i interviewed this morning, and was impressed by the principal i met with. the job is at sun valley high school, entering transcripts and meeting with parents and students to give them a personalized graduation plan. i think i could actually do this. things seem to be falling into place, now if i can just get the job! i am also registered for 3 online classes, so we will see if i can do it all!! here's to peace!!