Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I dont hate...I just dislike immensely..especially trough urinals

Ok, first off, did anyone see this loser who posted a video defending britney spears??? I really hope so, because he is just the tip of the iceberg in todays blog. Here is the video...be careful, it does contain the f bomb ... http://youtube.com/watch?v=LWSjUe0FyxQ&feature=bz301
Just some thoughts for this dork...
A. I had no idea you were male until my brother mentioned it...even then I didnt believe him.
B. Nice eyebrows, can I get the number of your stylist...I need to wax my backhair.
C. Speaking of stylists... you might want to pick a hair color....Im sure blondes everywhere are praying that you pick the black...Gives them a little more credit for brains anyway.
D. Oh and I just love the mascara and eye makeup...Drag queens everywhere have arisen in solute...

Ok thats enough. I seriously cant stop laughing whenever I think about it.
My next dislike... Trough urinals.
Thats right folks you read correct. I have spent time at 2 different football stadiums where the mens restrooms contain troughs, rather than single urinals. I must voice my disgust. Proper etiquette dictates that there should be atleast 1 1/2 persons length between you and the next person. This keeps everyone from having to see what the other man is carrying in his trunk. It also serves as a splash guard for those who feel the need to shake a little too vigorously (I will get back to this). This means that there is usually only room enough for 2 at a time. There is nothing worse than standing there, relieving the prostate, ensuring proper space and comfortability and having a fat old man wiggle and squeeze in between you and the next man already mid-show. Then while his shoulders are bumping yours, he drops trow, thrusts out his hips to make sure EVERYONE knows what he's got, takes a quick peak at yours to compare and begins to go. Then to top it off...he tries to engage you in conversation as though you were sitting around the campfire eating s'mores. This is when I stop going, regardless of how long I have waited, or relieved. Unfortunately, this guy decided he was done as quick as he started, and began to shake off like his arm was connected to a piston engine. Well, now everyone is running for cover and an old man was left standing at the trough urinal wondering why he is all alone.

Finally...I could go on forever, but Im tired and hungry. I can only say that the next time I travel all the way to Oklahoma to watch BYU play, they better not leave their defense sitting on the porcelain rim back home...what a complete waste of cash.

2 comments:

redshoes595 said...

Nathan, I think you disclosed alittle too much information about men and how they go to the bathroom. You make me grateful that we women must wait and wait but we always get a whole bathroom stall to ourselves. Too much visual. I like reading your views on things though.

***LIZ*** said...

Nate, what can I say about this post other then, I am not suprised at all...